If You Want Young Men to Leave Christianity, Have Them Watch ‘The Forge’
(REVIEW) The focus of “The Forge” on the modern plight of young men in society is laudable. But the film’s inability to empathize with these men, or offer a compelling vision for their lives, will turn them away from Christianity more than draw them to it.
Before we had the Erwin Brothers (“I Can Only Imagine”) or Dallas Jenkins (“The Chosen”), the undisputed kings of the faith-based film industry were the Kendrick Brothers. With films like “Facing the Giants” and “Fireproof,” Alex and Stephen Kendrick were Christian household names throughout the 2010s. At their height, The Kendricks’ movie “War Room” was No. 1 at the American box office.
The Kendrick Brothers films pioneered the “faith-based inspirational drama” that still defines the Christian film industry to this day. Their films would typically center on a social issue, whether it was marriage (“Fireproof” and “War Room”), fatherhood (“Courageous”) or abortion (“Lifemark”).
READ: Christian Movies A Useful Tool When It Comes To Discipleship And Evangelism
They would then have a character preach the gospel to the protagonist dealing with that problem and show them that the answer was to repent and make Jesus Christ their lord and savior. The Kendrick films were often accused — I think rightly — of being more sermons than movies. But there was no denying their popularity within Christian circles. Even now, with them being eclipsed by more popular Christian filmmakers, they still have a loyal audience.
Now, with their latest film, “The Forge,” the Kendrick brothers turn their attention to a social issue that has dominated social media in recent years: The boy crisis.
“The Forge” follows Isaiah, a high school graduate living at home with his mom, Cynthia (Priscilla C. Shirer, playing the sister of her character from “War Room”), with no plans for the future. After his mom threatens to start charging him rent to live there, Isaiah is taken under the wing by a man who promises to help him become the man God is calling him to be.
The film deserves credit for tackling the problems of wayward young men. Men in our society are falling behind in school, dropping out of the workforce, abandoning marriage and parenthood and increasingly ending their lives. So it’s great to see faith-based industry films trying to address helping men achieve their potential. Furthermore, the empathy shown to moms of such sons is vivid, with Cynthia struggling with wanting the best for her son but being unable to draw it out of him because she’s not a man and “it’s hard for a woman to call out the man in her son.”
The scenes where she responds by seeking support from her friends and praying to God about it together are honest and heartfelt. And when her son does turn around, her shock and gratitude for how God has turned things around is genuinely moving. Once again, the faith-based film industry does a great job of giving a far-too-rare voice to the experiences of Christian moms.
But therein lies the problem. This is clearly not a movie for the men who are lost; this is a movie for their moms. Worse, it’s a movie that will probably not inspire lost men to turn around, but rather push them further away.
The film largely ignores putting us in Isaiah’s point of view or understanding his perspective. The movie starts out with a parade of scenes where Isaiah is a stereotypically frustrating young man. He plays video games instead of doing his chores or looking for a job. He rolls his eyes at his mom when she confronts him and whines when she threatens to charge him rent. He obnoxiously tries to hit on a girl at a coffee shop and is disrespectful to her dad. Each of these scenes ends with an eye roll or a lecture from the adults in the room, whether that’s his mom, the coffee girl’s father or an office receptionist.
Why does Isaiah play so many video games? Why does he have so little ambition? Why doesn’t he listen to his mom? The film either ignores those questions or reduces them to “because his dad left” without digging much deeper.
The thing is, we have pretty good information on why men today are struggling. Dr. Jonathan Haidt points out in “The Anxious Generation ” that overprotectiveness of children has undercuts boys' confidence growing up by keeping them from going on adventures without supervision — which they can’t gain confidence without having.
Schools reward girls’ natural sit-still-and-listen style of learning while punishing boys' active, hands-on learning style, as The American Psychological Association points out. Add that to men feeling stigmatized for their masculinity, as Dr. Richard Reeves's book “Of Boys and Men” unpacks, and many men don’t see the point of trying to succeed. A father can help if he and his son have a close relationship, as Nancy Pearcey’s “The Toxic War on Masculinity” shows, but they are still fighting against the current.
This results in a generation of boys who don’t have the skills and confidence in themselves to succeed in the world, and feel stigmatized for the parts of themselves they like. Therefore, they retreat into fantasy like video games or porn, which do validate their masculine drives.
Imagine if “The Forge” had opened from Isaiah’s point of view, showing how demoralized he feels by his family, school and society — showing why he has no ambition. Boys watching the movie would feel seen and understood, and might then listen to the answer the movie was trying to give.
Of course, the answers the movie gives would not likely have reached boys either. When Joshua Moore (played by Cameron Arnett) takes Isaiah under his wing, the movie spends a lot more time with Moore lecturing Isaiah about why God’s way of living is better than it does letting Joshua, and therefore us, experience it. Remember, this “learn by lecture” rather than “learn by doing” is the same mistake schools make with boys. Video games and movies aimed at men make themselves desirable by putting males in the shoes of someone who struggles and overcomes obstacles toward a great reward — no lecturing required. But because the Kendrick brothers only know how to lecture rather than tell an exciting story, they can’t show how a life of responsibility can feel exciting and worthwhile.
“The Forge” also lacks a compelling purpose that can drive a man to want to struggle to better himself. What it pitches is essentially “become a man other people will respect” (per Isaiah’s description to Moore of what he wants) or “please God.” But the first is weak sauce and the second doesn’t motivate you if God hasn’t already captured your heart.
There are a couple of problems with getting respect from others as a motivator. First, it makes a man’s motive conditional on others. But it’s also not the deepest desire of men. In Dr. David Gilmore’s “Manhood in the Making” — regularly cited by both Christians and non-Christians — men cross-culturally define their purpose as living up to the “three P’s of manhood”: Protect, provide and procreate (procreate can also involve mentorship).
Read this iconic speech from the show “Breaking Bad,” one of the most popular shows for men in the past 30 years: “A man provides. And he does it even when he’s not appreciated, or respected or even loved. He simply bears up and he does it. Because he’s a man.”
Video games, movies and toxic online influencers like Andrew Tate pitch a version of these principles to men — which is a big part of their appeal. But Christianity has a better version of this. Like King Peter in Narnia, Christianity gives men the opportunity to be heroes for the glory of God to bring about the kingdom of heaven. It’s insane for the church to not pitch this to men and to settle for being respected as a primary motivator.
Jordan Peterson, in his video “A Message to the Christian Churches,” which tried to show churches how they can appeal to young men as he has, described how he pitches men’s purpose within the biblical framework: “You have a woman to find, a garden to walk in, a family to nurture, an ark to build, a land to conquer, a ladder to heaven to build and the utter catastrophe of life to face, in truth, devoted to love and without fear.”
How do male filmmakers talking about lost men not sympathize with them? And it’s a good question. But it’s a common observation of both the faith-based film industry and the Western church: The majority of leaders are men, but the majority of the audience (or congregants) are women. As books like “Why Men Hate Going to Church” and “The Church Impotent” have argued, this leads to a church culture that, even as it retains power for its male leaders, caters its content to meet the wants of its female members. In the faith-based industry, it's even more so since that audience leads directly to box office numbers. But that creates a vicious cycle — both in the church and movies — where much of the Christian culture turns off men.
Here’s an example of “The Forge” doing just that: We know that men and women socially bond differently. As Dr. Audrey Nelson observed in Psychology Today, men tend to bond standing side by side accomplishing a task together. Women tend to socially bond by looking into each other’s faces and talking about their feelings.
Dr. Tania Reynolds got more specific on the “Modern Wisdom Podcast,” explaining that women typically bond by sitting in a circle and expressing their deepest shameful secrets while affirming each other.
Which of these forms of social bonding does the movie affirm, and which does it denigrate? Most examples of social bonding through accomplishing goals side by side are treated negatively. Isaiah playing basketball with his friends is a bad influence, and playing video games and golf are idols to be cut out. What positive male community does he replace it with? Eating dinner in a circle with other boys while talking about their shameful histories and affirming each other.
What does all this mean for the boy whose parents drag him to the theater to see this movie? He’ll feel like the Christian adults in his life don’t understand him and don’t want to. When his parents laugh in the theater at Isaiah getting humiliated and cheer at him admitting that he was wrong, he will know they are thinking about him. And when the movie gives him a picture of the life he can have if he gives up his way of life now, it will look boring and unappealing to him. Worst of all, because this is portrayed as the “Christian” way to be a man, he will see Christianity (and Jesus himself) as boring and unappealing to him.
When I reviewed the Kendrick Brother-produced movie “LIfemark,” I criticized it for its portrayal of the young male protagonist. I said that the way the movie showed him never getting very mad when bad things happened to him, and any conflict he had with his family being diffused almost instantly, was an unhealthy expectation to place on young men. I was criticized mostly by Christian moms because “that’s what my son is like and my family is very healthy”. Meanwhile, I got private messages from young men who thanked me for telling the truth even though they couldn’t say they agreed with me publicly.
The good news is that more and more Christian sources are trying to address the needs of boys and men in a way they can hear. Culture critics like Aaron Renn and Jesse Dvorjak are Christians making content to speak to young men. Streaming services like LOOR (and Daily Wire, if you are politically conservative) are trying to build entertainment empires that appeal to the sensibilities of men while being often overtly religious, and very often Christian.
While “The Forge” deserves credit for wanting to address the real problems of struggling men and boys, it fails to speak to the very people it says it wants to help. Christian parents of such boys would be better off passing on this movie and following other sources for their boys, and following the example of the movie’s Cynthia by praying for them instead.
Joseph Holmes is an award-nominated filmmaker and culture critic living in New York City. He is co-host of the podcast “The Overthinkers” and its companion website theoverthinkersjournal.world, where he discusses art, culture and faith with his fellow overthinkers. His other work and contact info can be found at his website josephholmesstudios.com.