Season 3 Of Muslim Comedy ‘Ramy’ Gives Viewers A ‘Spiritual Discretion’ Warning — Here’s Why

Ramy Youssef in “Ramy.” Photo by Marcus Price/Hulu.

This review contains spoilers.

(REVIEW) Since its first season, comedy “Ramy” has been devoted to providing a genuine look at Islam and American Muslim culture in its entirety. It’s one of those brilliant shows that’s funny despite its circumstances, not because of them. And while it’s blunt about the flaws in the Muslim community, it’s also deeply and authentically spiritual. 

Its newest season, which premiers on Hulu Sept. 30, is no different. 

It includes commentary on the Israeli occupation of Palestine, what it means to be a good friend, repressed homosexuality, abortion, therapy — and an incredibly cathartic religious resolution.

While it primarily follows Ramy through his spiritual struggle and his many misdeeds, the show regularly devotes episodes to its supporting cast of characters that include Ramy’s family and friends. 

The seventh episode of the season, “Second Opinion Doctor,” begins with a unique disclaimer. New movies and TV shows are now often preceded by warnings about sensitive material like gun violence and suicide. But Ramy’s “spiritual discretion” warning may be the first of its kind. 

“The type of relationship depicted in this episode is extremely hard to execute with dignity and care,” the statement reads. 

Photo by Jon Pack/Hulu.

“Do not attempt this at home,” it concludes. 

The type of relationship it refers to is polygyny, a type of polygamy that allows a man to marry more than one wife. The Quran allows for this type of marriage structure and says a man can marry up to four wives, but interpretations of what circumstances allow such marriages vary.

Ramy’s friend Ahmed is a doctor who’s married; he has always wanted children, but his wife decided she didn’t after they married. One of his patients is a terminally ill Muslim man with a wife and young son. Shortly before his death, the man’s wife approaches Ahmed with a proposition: She would like to be taken on as his second wife. 

She doesn’t need financial support, but she does want her son to have a father and can find no one else she would trust enough for it. Even her dying husband consented to the marriage. Furthermore, the couple had legally divorced three months prior, so her “iddah” (period of waiting) would pass before his death. 

Ahmed is initially resistant, but he understands this second marriage would give him the child he wants. Another friend, Mo, takes Ahmed to receive encouragement from a spiritual advisor in Brooklyn who has four wives. Meanwhile, Ahmed’s wife, Yasmina, responds negatively to the proposition and declines to give her consent to the arrangement but agrees to meet with the other woman.  

Narratively, this reason for marriage is very similar to what some scholars believe contextualizes the verse in the Quran that discusses polygny.

The verse comes from Surah 4 “Women” verse 3: “If you fear that you will not deal fairly with orphan girls, you may marry whichever other women seem good to you, two, three, or four. If you fear that you cannot be equitable to them, then marry only one, or your slaves: that is more likely to make you avoid bias.” 

This verse and others in the Surah are, in part, instructions for war. Battles would leave many widowed women and orphaned children who would have at the time been unable to care for themselves. Granting a man the ability to take multiple wives was therefore something instructed in order to care for women and children rather than provide men with a way to achieve greater status. The insistence on equality is also notable, suggesting further that the system is meant to enact justice and compassion.

Photo by: Jon Pack/Hulu

“Ramy” takes this literally, too. The spiritual advisor shows off his wallet, which has equal space dedicated to each of his wives. He owns four identical houses on the same block, and each of his wives lives in their own. His first wife tells Ahmed they discussed the possibility of this lifestyle when they first got married, and she’s pleased to have the independence it grants her. Overall, the impression is that the arrangement is beneficial for all and carried out in a way that follows the Quran’s command for equality. 

Of course, in reality, this arrangement is usually not legally possible. Most countries in the world have criminalized polygamy. All U.S. states have laws prohibiting it, though punishment in Utah for consensual polygamy is no more serious than a traffic violation. 

Polygamy is also possible through legal loopholes. Though it hasn’t been practiced officially in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — commonly know as the Mormon church — for over a century, it still happens in the offshoot Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. An NPR article from 2008 estimated that 50,000 to 100,000 Muslims are living in polygamous relationships; it describes the practice of marrying different women in different countries and performing religious ceremonies outside the law. 

In many cases, these polygamous relationships are not the pinnacle of compassion the Quran says they should be. Women say the additional marriages are sprung on them, and they are forced to become servants who are threatened with deportation. Others say they chose that relationship structure and enjoy it immensely. 

Some countries in Africa and Asia allow polygamy — usually polygyny — and most have a Muslim majority. Some countries, like India and Malaysia, only recognize polygamous relationships for Muslims. Some countries who do allow polygamy do so only with written consent from the first spouse or a signed agreement before the marriage. 

Even in the places it is allowed, actual practice of polygamy is rare. According to Pew Research data from 2020, only about 2% of the world population lives in a polygamous household. In most countries with higher individual percentages, Muslims are the most common religious group to engage in polyamory, but Christians and people in folk religions also participate. 

The subject is a gray area regardless. It’s uncommon and taboo — often for good reason — but a real part of Islam nonetheless. 

The show takes a decidedly male point of view, focusing on Ahmed’s spiritual journey rather than the potential ramifications of polygyny on his wife and their relationship — particularly as it comes to having a child. In the end, the situation is resolved somewhat messily: Yasmina becomes open to the idea of children again without much conversation. 

The show is admittedly confined to it’s 30-minute comedy genre, and there are plenty more pressing issues to focus on that prevent the overtaking of Islamic polygamy laws. “Ramy” still gives the subject a great deal of dignity and care; it’s proof of how adept the show is at offering a real, engaging look into the lives of American Muslims. 

“Ramy” is available to stream on Hulu.

Jillian Cheney is a contributing culture writer for Religion Unplugged. She also writes on American Protestantism and evangelical Christianity and was Religion Unplugged’s 2020-21 Poynter-Koch fellow. You can find her on Twitter @_jilliancheney.